Project 2 Childhood memory

Aged, cracked, confused and blurred memories.

I have decided to make a composite image conjured up from a number of memories. My childhood on the whole was a happy one, with great parents. Yet I was abused and it is the abuse that is the driver for this image.

  • Holidays were great times
  • I always wanted a dog
  • Religion became important after the abuse
  • Aged black and white for my memories

All three of the above points are played out in the image, which is deliberately blurred and aged, like my memories. This is partly due to the time that has passed and partly due towhead happened to me when I was about 8 years old.

I’m not sure I like the image, it reminds me of what happened, but it is how I wanted to recreate my memory, which is part of my healing process. It has left me with PTSD.


KL – Nikolaus Wachsman


This is the most comprehensive book I have ever read on the Nazi’s Final Solution and the concentration camps that were established.

It documents  the inception, the running and the demise of them and looks at individual stories of survivors and those who died, including Kapos and Nazis.

The amount of research done to complete this book must have been immense as Wachsman source list is lengthy.

In parts the book describes in detail the treatment of hundreds of victims from the gassing, to the vile experiments that such “people” like Mengele carried out.

72 photographs are added to the book in two places. They show a wide variety of KL related scenes and some are obviously very upsetting. The photographs themselves are simply incredible as a result of the fact that photography was banned in most places these we taken. They are a remarkable record of this shameful event in human history.

Of all the books I have read of the Holocaust this has surpassed all the others.

If anyone shares my interest on this subject, this is a must read.

I love Led Zeppelin but…

Lindisfarne.jpgIn part 3 I am required to keep a diary, which is a great idea. I am doing so in written form, as I do not want to lay my soul bare here for all and sundry to read. May be I just don’t want you to see may real thoughts!

However I do want to vent some frustration. I feel Dazed and Confused (Led Zep reference in the title for the uninitiated). I will be having no Part 2 tutorial. This may be partly my fault as I have requested a change in tutor. not because I dislike my old tutor or that we don’t get on. On the contrary, I really enjoyed working with her and learning from her, but I believe that my pace of work may simply be too quick for some tutors.

As I write this I am tutorless and I had an original deadline of 11th August for this part of my degree. I did want to complete C and N in 5-6 months like EYV, but due to communication issues (not of my making) this will now not be possible.

I am a great believer that constructive criticism is of great benefit and that we all learn from our mistakes, but I feel that some of my latest written feedback is not as fair or as accurate as it could be. One of the points made is that not all of my project work is there, when in fact as far as I cans it is all there.

My blog for EYV was easy to negotiate and was well received by my tutor,  for that module. It has also stood me in good stead as I have received a pass on my formal assessment fr that part of the degree. I was asked to make some changes, in my last and only tutorial so far and these were made. My blog was one of the areas that I was wanting to discuss on the face to face tutorial. Sadly there was a mix up with the dates and my tutor did not dial in, meaning I missed the f2f feedback.

As a result I have reverted my blog to that of the EYV set up and will see what my new tutor feels about the lay out.

I am carrying on regardless (to quote The Beautiful South) and I look forward to hearing from my new tutor soon.

At the moment I feel as though I am being left out to dry as time is ticking on and non of this is my making. and the sun is setting.

Any way nose back to the grind stone, my steam is vented. Not sure if this should be posted here but we are all adults and it makes me feel better.

My toys are now back in the pram!!!


Project 1 Elina Brotherus

I have never heard of Elina before and let alone seen her work. Having viewed her website and all of her images I am left with the impression of an artist who is very emotional, self-conscious and experiences profound swings in her feelings due to her childlessness.

Elina is a very talented artist and clearly gives her work much thought and bares her soul and body in many of her images. Her work is similar to Francesca Woodman’s but not the same.

In many of her images she is facing away from the lens, giving me the feeling that she is searching for something, whilst feeling vulnerable at the same time. She is less of an exhibitionist when compared to Woodman and is incredibly somber and melancholy in her work, where she is expressing sadness at involuntary childlessness.

Below is my favourite image from her website. I love the anger, honesty and jealousy in her eyes, when contrasted with the eyes of her surrogate child that she is displaying in a rough, unloving manner. Her dog is displayed as a full frontal nude, which has echoes of many self portraiture images created by Elina. I understand her work better than I do Woodman’s work and feel more closely linked with this artist. She offers simple images that express complex messages. For me this displays sadness but not so much of the angst, and depressive qualities of Woodman’s work.

Image taken from :- Brotherus, E (2016) CARPE FUCKING DIEM (2011-2015), Available at: (Accessed: 31/07/17).